


Phantom Flower

by Greenie (haithuong313), haithuong313



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst, Blood and Violence, Love Bites, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:14:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27324844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haithuong313/pseuds/Greenie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/haithuong313/pseuds/haithuong313
Summary: Do you ever have a feeling that you have lived another life, in another world that nobody knows of, nobody remembers? But somehow, memories of that world still exist in your subconscious so lively and so real, it leaves a beautiful phantom pain in your heart each time you wake up?
Relationships: Iwai Munehisa/Kurusu Akira
Kudos: 15
Collections: Iwaipego Halloween Event 2020





	1. Chapter 1

Do you ever have a feeling that you have lived another life, in another world that nobody knows of, nobody remembers? But somehow, memories of that world still exist in your subconscious so lively and so real, it leaves a beautiful phantom pain in your heart each time you wake up?

Iwai Munehisha is not the kind to believe in such novelties. Like, even in his foolish teenage years when he was still a new yakuza recruit; everything has been real for him, everything has its causes and consequences and there will be no magic to save you from the cruelty of the real world. Even when he had Kaoru and it has been the closest to a miracle that happened to him, he still has to work his ass off to barely makes ends meet, raising such a small baby alone. Iwai also knows even with all his efforts to redeem for his dishonest past, karma will bite him in the back one day and he must be prepared to take the hit.

“That’s- a very grim way to look at things, dad.”

Kaoru closes the book on his lap, The Chronicles of Narnia. Iwai always encourages him to read more, but when he knows about the content of the book Kaoru is currently reading, he doesn’t really like it. It will give children the idea that there is a magical solution for their real-life trouble. He knows Kaoru is not so much a naïve child, he is a smart kid, but still.

“You can’t run from real life’s problem by hiding in a closet and somehow find a magical kingdom and all that bullshit. That stuff is just pure imagination.”

“It-it’s not about whether it is real or not, dad.” Kaoru snickers lightly, Iwai raises an eyebrow. “I don’t think anyone believes in magic, except very young children. But some adults read fantasy novels too.”

“Your meaning?”

“I don’t know. I think- people were just trying to find something that they forgot? The “magic” when they were still a child? I mean… it’s all metaphoric.”

Iwai doesn’t understand, it’s probably some literature thingy the kid learn at school; he did hear about it when he was still in school and all, but it’s mostly a blank now.

◆◇◆◇

It was a hot afternoon in Untouchable and Iwai has just shipped a huge number of goods to some online customers. The shop is usually quite unoccupied on Saturday afternoon, so he decided to drift off a bit. It’s not like anyone dare to steal from his shop anyways…

A pair of cool hand touch his neck and then his jawline from behind the seat. The coolness is so gentle and nice in this sweltering heat, Iwai just ends up letting it wandering all over his skin. Normally he doesn’t even let people be too close to him, but this time he just lays back relaxingly. Those slender and delicate fingers which are a bit more toucher than it looks… Iwai knows too well. 

_“It’s not about whether it is real or not, Mune.”_

Iwai gasps and jumps up from his seat. It has been happening sometimes of late, as nonsensical fragments of dreams at first and then – _this_. He wonders just _what is it_. Was it a one night stand that he doesn’t remember, being too drunk and all. Maybe he shouldn’t have gone to the bar all those nights, they could have slipped some unknown drugs into his drink when he wasn’t looking; but a person can only tolerate so much loneliness. At this rate he would be a wreck if Kaoru decides to move out when he entered college, the emptiness would be so unbearable. Iwai flashes cold water on his face in the hope it will wake him up from drowsiness.

Half an hour later, the doorbell rings as some customers enter his shop. They are not his usual customers: a group of high schoolers is not a usual sight around these parts of Shibuya, hidden in a secluded corner of the street. Iwai knows them though, mostly the blond kid. The kid used to come with a friend and tried to sell Iwai a solid _gold_ medal, and he had half a mind to just tell him to just fuck off with stolen shits. Somehow, he changed his mind since it was not stolen, the kid just somehow got it from a junk site. Strange, how the kid talks him into it? He doesn’t seem like one with persuasion skills. Ryuji, the kid’s name, is a good lad though. He cares about his friends and sometimes comes to purchase stuff for them from Iwai’s shop, that’s how Iwai knows about his group of friends. The blond girl is sweet and has a way of talk, people would be naturally drawn to her. The artist boy isn’t like other kids, he like touching stuff and doesn’t talk a lot, but he had sharp eyes and recognize Iwai’s handiwork with just a glance. A girl with light rosewood hair who is polite and is a lot more mature than all the others in the group, somehow still sounds a bit childish and cheerful. There is also a black-haired girl that is all prim and proper, but she doesn’t seem to like his shop enough to stick around.

They have grown quite a bit since the last time Iwai saw them, they are probably already graduated. Ryuji told him about his plan to move away from Tokyo to do therapy for his past leg injury, so he is hanging out with his friends for the last time around Tokyo. He is certain that they will meet again when they enter college, the boy always has a very positive attitude that Iwai can sympathize with, it is a mindset much needed for pushing through a lot of obstacles in life. Ryuji wasn’t always like that though, he has a lot of trust issue the first time they first met, and there is anger issue too. Iwai is glad that the kid worked it out after the Shujin high scandal all over the new back then. Shitty thugs can ruin some people’s days, but a shitty teacher can ruin kids’ life forever, that, Iwai knows well. Ann, the blond girl, is caught up in it too, but she seems to have newfound strength and confidence over it. He sometimes sees her on the television and in teen magazines Kaoru brought home, the girl has been kind of a model for a young girl or something. She speaks out a lot about abuse in school, about the objectification of young girls in popular culture, stuff like that. Iwai thinks she will make it big in life. The artist boy, Yusuke, Iwai heard that he has been through some rough time after his teacher has been exposed as a con artist and an abuser, but he is regaining his footing. Iwai has seen some of his artworks, he knows next to nothing about art but those seem genuinely talented, for one of such young age. About Haru Okumura, everyone in Tokyo probably knows her as the mistress of Okumura Corp, but ever since her father’s decease, she has learn to do business on her own. It’s now a family restaurant, but Iwai knows the girl has her whole heart in it.

Those kids make Iwai think about his child, Kaoru. Things between Iwai and his son has not always been good. Iwai, fearing his muddy past and his own person, pushes Kaoru away when his son needs him the most. Kaoru fell into the hand of Tsuda, Iwai almost lost him. It was-

Iwai looks at his hand. He can’t remember, in the terror of that moment, something was giving him unimaginable strength and courage to face his past and come clean with Kaoru. Something right in his hand.

Iwai’s thoughts got distracted by Ryuji and his group of friends talking about election news on TV. These young’uns suddenly care about politics these days, it’s so different from his time. He supposes it’s a good thing, even though they are too young to make their voice known. So, in the last term they almost voted for a serial rapist and a dictator into office, but a famous hacker group, The Phantom Thief, has exposed him for all his criminal records that were thought to be subdued. Japan usually doesn’t have many political outrages worth making the news, but Iwai guesses it was just always been hidden carefully. Politics won’t change overnight, but now with more eyes on it, it will be harder for those rotten politicians to lie their way through everything.

“Some people still try to defend Shido though.” Ryuji sneers “Say that they don’t really care about his personal life and shits, they only care if their PM is capable.”

“I can’t understand those people too…” Ann sighs. “But I mean, back then some people _still_ don’t believe Kamoshida is a rapist after he goes to jail and all. Says that we are only exaggerating.”

“Let them be, Ryuji-kun.” Yusuke softly gives his rare insight “The more they spout nonsense, the more people will be angered and fight back. This is everyone’s fight, as they are supposed to.”

“I-I don’t really get it.” Ryuji looks at Yusuke deadpan.

“I think Yusuke is right, we have done our parts.” Haru nods “We need to care more about our own lives too. That will make us stronger in the long run.”

“Hmm, true. One day, these feet will run again and I could run further than anyone.”

Ryuji taps at his knees. Everyone encourages him to just relax in his therapy and trust that he will recover soon.

After a while, the group promptly leave Untouchable shop after giving Iwai a goodbye. Ryuji was about to head out but then he suddenly looks back, waiting for something, but then remembered all his friends have already headed out. So his eyes catch Iwai’s.

“Forget somethin’, kid?” Iwai asks.

“I-”

For some reason, a drop of tear streams down his face, so sudden that Iwai doesn’t know how to react. Despite knowing a lot about this group of teenagers, he doesn’t have a deep connection toward them, not enough for such deep sentiment evidence on Ryuji’s face. Such loss and sadness.

The boy wash caught off-guarded too, he just runs out of the shop in embarrassment.

Iwai doesn’t understand why he has the very same feeling. Loss, and sadness.

◆◇◆◇

“Who are you?”

Iwai wakes up to a stranger who sits by the window. Actually, not “wake up”, he is still in a dream. Iwai is just good at telling the real thing from illusions, as he always trains his mind to do so. It was part of the job back then and has become a habit by now since he doesn’t see a reason to quit doing it.

The young man, or more a boy, with black curly hair who sits by the window, wasn’t intimidated by Iwai’s tone, he just looks at Iwai with an unreadable expression. In his clear gray eyes hold some fondness. Huh. So, he knows Iwai, but Iwai doesn’t recognize him. Not one bit.

Iwai looks at the young man’s hands. Slender fingers, but they can hold a knife well.

As if Iwai’s mind was an open book, the black-haired takes his hand up to his mouth, smirks, and sucks his own fingers. Such vulgarity, Iwai should be cringe right now, but all he sees is a pretty sexual being calling him into committing sins. And he would gladly do it. He is not a man of much moral to begin with, and this is a dream, his dream. It could be that this is a dream manifests from his own loneliness and weakness, stems from a very dark and sick place of his mind. He has always known he is not a good man.

Iwai reaches out to touch the young man, only for him to fade into silky darkness. Darkness is void, but this darkness, it is gentle and familiar. The darkness reforms in Iwai’s arm, it turns into the dark-haired young man. Cool finger wraps around his neck and jawline again, gray eyes inspect him for sometimes before leaning down. A kiss. So this is how it feels, to kiss the blackness of the night. It tastes like a faint smell of flower drenched in rain, light sweetness and violent bitter. Feel a bit like tears.

Iwai knows his name. He somehow just know.

“I like you, Iwai-san. Really.”

His voice, more like an echo from the past. This dream is not just Iwai’s untamed imagination, but it is also something of a past he can’t remember. There are just echoes that drive him mad with uncertainties.

“Akira.” Iwai’s voice echoes.

◆◇◆◇


	2. Chapter 2

◆◇◆◇

“You seem a lot more… relaxed these days, dad.”

Iwai raises an eyebrow.

“Why are you looking at me like that, isn’t it a good thing?” Kaoru sighs. Why his dad is always suspicious of any and everything?

“ ’s fair. Only that you just implied I am always grumpy like ‘n old man?”

Silence.

“Well, about that,” Iwai kinda speaks out the thought Kaoru doesn’t realize he was having “I think it’s normal for someone who has been alone for such a long time. I don’t recall you ever have a relationship or take anyone home.”

“That’s not somethin’ yer kid should worry about.” Iwai chuckles “I can take care of myself.”

 _Barely_. But Kaoru isn’t wrong. Iwai can’t believe that some random dreams he is having nowadays can be such a tremendous help with his mood, even when he barely remember those dream once he wakes up. He does remember a beautiful young man (shit, even he hears how perverted that sounds) with black curly hair and a shadowy presence. It’s a shame Iwai cannot recall his name however hard he tries, he guess well, it doesn’t exist in reality anyway. Maybe he will refer to the man as “Phantom”, a foreign word for shadow.

Being with Phantom put him at ease more than he dares to admit. It isn’t just sex even though the sex is amazing, Iwai hasn’t been with anyone who fits his body and his needs so perfectly if he is ever with anyone at all since he becomes a single father. The young man looks frail and fragile at first glance, but hell if he doesn’t take it well. Iwai is not one to usually sit back and let people do the job, he likes to take the initiative and being in complete control. He knows that it sometimes scares his partner, but not this one.

 _Akira_ , now he remembered, that means he is in the dream again. Akira only smirks when Iwai pins his hands atop of his head. It’s not like the young man doesn’t know fear, but fear is exactly what makes him aroused. 

“What’s with that look?” Iwai asks with teeth. Those bright defiant eyes always seem to challenge his limit “You should not look at someone on top of you like that.”

“Or else?”

Akira fakes an innocent look. Almost convincing enough. Iwai doesn’t respond, just sinks his teeth into the young man’s flesh, so viciously he can taste blood. And oh, the sound he makes is sweet. If this is real Iwai would be a bit concerned, and they would have to make all kinds of rules for these plays for it to not be a disaster in the making. In dreams, they can just know each other’s thinkings and feelings. He understands Akira and vice versa. If only life is that simple.

Can it be?

Akira laying there boneless, sweats dripping with each ragged breath. Iwai traces his finger on all the bloodied bites and purple bruises, satisfied with his marking. Sometimes it feels as if he carves this body himself and it belongs to him, all skin bone flesh, and blood. It might as well be his imagination, it’s his dream after all. But he just knows that it’s not his. Akira is a creature coming into his dream for an unknown purpose, and for some reason, Iwai wasn’t asking _why_.

“Now why is _that_ look?” It’s Akira weak voice this time, still out of breath.

“Still chatty, huh?” Iwai put his index finger inside Akira’s soft and hot cavern, opens it up for a filthy wet kiss. “Should I do something to shut it up?”

“You like it chatty.” Akira sings song.

Akira let out a pained noise again when Iwai grips his curly locks. Iwai puts his face into the hollow of his shoulder.

“I don’t understand. I didn’t make you, you don’t belong to me. Nothing ever belongs to me, not my “family”, not even Kaoru. And yet sometimes I feel like… I feel like…”

“I can belong to you.” Whispers Akira.

“Huh?”

“I can belong to you, Munehisa, if you wish me to be.”

◆◇◆◇

Iwai, without remembering every detail of his dream, is still in a state of euphoric the next day. He even promises to take Kaoru to the Planetarium, not that the kid doesn’t deserve a comforting Sunday morning with his only family after all the hard work he has done. Iwai always considered himself not good at this parent-child bonding stuff so he typically just avoids it like a chicken, but recently he has been taking more steps… He knows he has to keep Kaoru close for him to be safe, even though maybe one day Kaoru might look back and see it as a mistake, and he never wanted his kind of father. Argh, Iwai must stop those intruding thoughts. Somehow being with Phantom helps with that. _“I can belong to you, Munehisa, if you wish me to be.”_ Not only that, but part of Iwai feels like he belong to that dream, that darkness.

“Wow dad, you seem to know a lot about these stars and stuff. I didn’t know you are interested in it… or did you read books for this occasion?”

That’s- Iwai doesn’t have the answer to. He is not very familiar with the Planetarium, and his study at school back then is simply insufficient. And yet somehow he recalls some information about stars and planets and can recite that to Kaoru. Could it somehow, again, related to _Akira_?

Iwai feels a black curly head leaning against his shoulder. Looking down, he can see Akira in some kind of Sunday outfit, an open white button-up shirt over a black short-sleeved t-shirt, a bit different to him in other dreams. He even has big glasses that somehow suits him, but it hides away his very sharp and bright eyes. So this is his “disguise”?

Both of their hands are on the armrest, Akira uses his fingers to tough Iwai’s hand. So, Iwai takes his hand and that makes him jumps up a bit in his seat. That’s cute.

“Have we ever been here before?” Iwai asks, looking up at the beautiful starry holograms. It’s all couples here. That includes him and Akira, probably.

“Have we?” Akira replies with a question.

“You don’t know?”

“I do. But you won’t remember when you wake up either way. Do you?”

Iwai contemplates. He really won’t remember anything, even Akira’s name, once he wakes up. He has been feeling pretty guilty about that recently, unlike when he first has these dreams and Akira was some kind of wild imagination that will go away after a while. Now, Iwai realizes that Akira holds some significance in his life, he just can’t remember. He also couldn’t possibly ask anyone about a person that he can’t even recall the name. It’s as if… as if they exist in different universes and can only meet in these dreams. It sounds miserable, but Akira never seems to be in distress about it. He says that while a lifetime is limited, dreams are not. They can be together like that forever, and there would be no worry, no consequences.

“I won’t remember… But I still want to know about it, about you. At least in this _dream_.”

He can feel Akira’s fingers twitched lightly. At first, Iwai doesn’t think much of it, it’s just a dream and Akira is just an imagination. But the more these dreams continue, Iwai can tell he’s not. He is something that lives, that his feelings and thinking of his own; he exists in this realm, but somehow doesn’t exist in the real world. Or used to, but not anymore.

“Then… yes, we did. We did come here.” Akira answers.

“Well, you seem like a fun one to be with. You taught me all about those stars and constellation shit, right? Kaoru is so astounded by it; the kid really enjoys this place.”

Akira smiles and nods, as if he knows Iwai would take Kaoru to the Planetarium. But, how does that happened though? It’s so highly unlikely that Iwai would let someone he doesn’t know well take him to a place like his. He is always busy if not by works then by taking care of Kaoru. Unless…

“Do you like it here, Iwai-san?” Akira asks.

“Huh, me?” Iwai is caught off guard with his thoughts “Yeah, I guess. Even though I don’t think about coming to this place daily, it’s a sight.”

“When I see this, I was thinking that I want to share it with you.” Akira hums.

◆◇◆◇

They say that the best way to clean up is to throw away things that you don’t need anymore so that you will be free of unused stuff that sits idly everywhere. Christmas is coming, so Kaoru helps Iwai cleaning up his shop, and then they would have a Christmas party together like every year. Iwai insists that he could clean up everything faster alone because they can never seem to agree on which to keep and which to throw away, so it ends up taking much more time cleaning together. Kaoru just wants to spend all the time with Iwai though, and he can hardly go against that wish.

“Oh, why is there a ring here?” Kaoru brings Iwai’s attention to a wooden box with a shiny silver thing in it. “You should keep it somewhere more secure, or you could lose it in this cluster of a shop.”

A ring? Iwai hardly remembers why he has something like that laying around. He does purchase gold and silver stuff for gun parts, but not refined jewelry, those are much pricier and only for gifting purpose. It looks like… engagement ring? There are words inside it. It should come in pair….

When Iwai touches the ring, there is some kind of electricity running from the silver to his entire body. A sudden flash of unknown memory overwhelms him and he stays dumbstruck for several minutes. In that memory, there is a familiar silhouette, the one that he has seen numerous times in his dreams. The Phantom. There is a ring on his hand, and his face showing unreadable emotion.

No, Iwai doesn’t remember, but his body still feels that moment as if it was yesterday. He is the kind of man that hasn’t done many right things in his life. From the very start, he doesn’t have any good model to look up to, it was only his non-existence of a father and his addicted mother that only remembers her son’s face depend on which day she is sober. He has always tried to do things right when he was still in the “family”, but of course, things could never be right in that place full of broken promises. No one needs him to do the right thing, and even if he tried, things could never change. Iwai is not even sure about adopting Kaoru back then; maybe it was not the golden heart they say he possesses; it was just another pathetic attempt to fix up his forsaken life. Just that time though. He can feel that he is doing the right thing. This ring in his hand is the right thing. This person’s hand in his is its rightful place to be. Even if it comes from the most unexpected place, even if other people can never accept their relationship, even if God forbids them.

_“I already told you, Munehisa. I treasure the thing between us, whatever that is. I believe that you feel the same. So, you don’t have to prove anything.” His voice was calm, but there is something slowly breaking._

_“You are more to me than that. I can’t live without you. So be mine,_ _▢▢▢▢▢▢ ” Iwai held him close and refuse to let go. Unlike before, he has learned his lesson. He would never let this person go again._

_Now he was crying._

_“You don’t have to do this… You know who am I. I don’t have a future.”_

_“I don’t care. I love you.”_

_“You won’t even remember this.”_

_“I love you. You deserve this. I will find you, wherever you go. I will come and find you, no matter how many times I forget. Or even if the world forgets you.”_

And Iwai kissed him, again and again. He didn’t seem to believe anything Iwai was saying, but he clutched his ring hand on his chest anyway.

Iwai lets go of the wooden box in his hand. It hits the floor with a bang.

◆◇◆◇

If there is some illegal skill Iwai still keep since the yakuza day, it’s his “searching” skill. There is a lot of stuff that needs to get in or get out, and Iwai has quite a talent for finding potential customers. Either his relationship net or the deep web of the new internet, he has always had ways to find the thing he is searching for. Still, can he find a thing that is without a name, or worse, doesn’t exist anymore?

So, he searches for dreams. About illusions. Fantasy.

It was too big a scope. Most of the study about it is unrelated to what he is searching for. To be fair, he isn’t searching for the meaning of the dream or the work of a human’s brain, or some weird shit addictive drug. What he searches for is something more of an _alternative reality_.

Phantom.

After several weeks, that keyword takes him to some old discussion about the Phantom Thieves, the hacker group that helped expose the rotten politician Masayoshi Shido. There are some rumors that their ability to do that was not from hacking alone. With some metaphysical ability, they were able to make Shido confess his crime in court. But according to some people who tried to dig up court records, they cannot find such method mentioned, or any witnesses related to the case. Everything seems to be wiped completely.

Now… that’s quite close to what Iwai is looking for.

He created a new thread talking about his own experience.

_“Do you ever have a feeling that you have lived another life, in another world that nobody knows of, nobody remembers? But somehow, you know that phantom pain in your chest is real and you cannot rest until you find out what it is?”_

That night, someone with the name Necronomicon23 contacts him with a meeting address. He can recognize this person with a black cat-like charm on their clothing. This person seems to be very careful and doesn’t leave any trace that Iwai can track. They seem to understand what Iwai is experiencing, and also showed Iwai quite a lot of things related to the Phantom Thieves incident.

It is Sunday afternoon, right near Shibuya’s station. There are quite a lot of people walking, so it takes a while until Iwai finds this Necronomicon23 person. Not in his wildest dream he could have thought it was a child. A little girl, to be precise. She seems to be Kaoru’s age, dressing in the kind of Harajuku (?) fashion he cannot fathom. Her hair is bright orange under her big hat that has the black cat charm on it. Children so young like this shouldn’t have been on the deep web!

The moment their eyes meet though, Iwai once again gets that damn déjà vu feeling. They have met in the past. But when and how Iwai could not recall. The girl gives him an irritated look.

“What are you to _him_?” She asks.


End file.
